{"product_id":"somebodys-gotta-be-the-cautionary-tale","title":"somebody's gotta be the cautionary tale [PRE-ORDER]","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePRE-ORDER - Shirts start shipping 1 June 2026. Order now to secure your size!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eSomebody has to do it. Might as well be you. At least you're useful.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cbr\u003e180gsm premium heavyweight cotton. Not the tissue-thin stuff everyone else passes off as a tee. The kind that holds its shape, doesn't go see-through after three washes, and actually feels like something when you put it on.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eBlack. White vinyl text. Unisex fit - not trying to be slim, not trying to be oversized. Just fits like a shirt should.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eBecause if you're going to wear something that says what you actually think, it should at least be built to last.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSizes:\u003c\/strong\u003e S - 5XL\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eMade in South Africa. Ships nationwide via Pargo, Pudo, pickup or home delivery.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"deadpan","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":44159856345187,"sku":null,"price":500.0,"currency_code":"ZAR","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":44159856377955,"sku":null,"price":500.0,"currency_code":"ZAR","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":44159856410723,"sku":null,"price":500.0,"currency_code":"ZAR","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":44159856443491,"sku":null,"price":500.0,"currency_code":"ZAR","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44159856476259,"sku":null,"price":500.0,"currency_code":"ZAR","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":44159856509027,"sku":null,"price":500.0,"currency_code":"ZAR","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":44159856541795,"sku":null,"price":500.0,"currency_code":"ZAR","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":44159856574563,"sku":null,"price":500.0,"currency_code":"ZAR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0671\/6781\/3731\/files\/7-0-flat.png?v=1777707972","url":"https:\/\/deadpan.co.za\/products\/somebodys-gotta-be-the-cautionary-tale","provider":"deadpan","version":"1.0","type":"link"}