{"product_id":"im-functioning-dont-ask-follow-up-questions","title":"i'm functioning. don't ask follow-up questions. [PRE-ORDER]","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePRE-ORDER - Shirts start shipping 1 June 2026. Order now to secure your size!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003eFunctioning is a spectrum. You're on it. That's enough for today. Further inquiry is not welcome at this time.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cbr\u003e180gsm premium heavyweight cotton. Not the tissue-thin stuff everyone else passes off as a tee. The kind that holds its shape, doesn't go see-through after three washes, and actually feels like something when you put it on.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eBlack. White vinyl text. Unisex fit - not trying to be slim, not trying to be oversized. Just fits like a shirt should.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eBecause if you're going to wear something that says what you actually think, it should at least be built to last.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSizes:\u003c\/strong\u003e S - 5XL\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eMade in South Africa. Ships nationwide via Pargo, Pudo, pickup or home delivery.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"deadpan","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":44159855394915,"sku":null,"price":500.0,"currency_code":"ZAR","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":44159855427683,"sku":null,"price":500.0,"currency_code":"ZAR","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":44159855460451,"sku":null,"price":500.0,"currency_code":"ZAR","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":44159855493219,"sku":null,"price":500.0,"currency_code":"ZAR","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44159855525987,"sku":null,"price":500.0,"currency_code":"ZAR","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":44159855558755,"sku":null,"price":500.0,"currency_code":"ZAR","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":44159855591523,"sku":null,"price":500.0,"currency_code":"ZAR","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":44159855624291,"sku":null,"price":500.0,"currency_code":"ZAR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0671\/6781\/3731\/files\/6-0-flat.png?v=1777707743","url":"https:\/\/deadpan.co.za\/products\/im-functioning-dont-ask-follow-up-questions","provider":"deadpan","version":"1.0","type":"link"}